The Unconscious Meanings in your Wardrobe. Who is showing up today? Part 1…

Image is a really important thing. It impacts how you show up in your world and how others perceive you which can impact business and your personal life.


In my former life I was an Image Consultant and Personal Shopper. I remember the fascinating things that I would learn about people through their wardrobe..and while you might be thinking that I found things that were inappropriate or super weird, I’m talking about the persona that women were projecting into their worlds from an UNCONSCIOUS perspective.

Who is showing up today? Goddess or Maiden or Child or Priestess ? Each of these ‘archetypes’ are showing up and have different qualities associated with them. An archetype is a filter that you are running your life through and there are certain qualities that are associated with them.

While the expression, What you think you become (we know it to be true as it is in our brain wiring), I believe that What we wear we become through projecting the archetype qualities of who we choose on that day.

I would bet that if you went into your wardrobe you would be able to create sections in your closet of the different archetypes that are in it. I’m so curious who would be running the show most?!

All of our behaviour, learning and change is coming from the unconscious so that means that you are doing it without realizing it. This is why AWARENESS is the first step to changing something.

So what did I become aware of when I gave my own wardrobe a closet audit? LOTS!

I have sections of Goddess and Priestess (think leather skirts, form fitting and sexy) and while Goddess is projected in my clothing that flows, I want to add the flowy pieces to some structure.

Being a woman who loves comfort in her clothing, I have to be careful that I don’t get caught up in big cozy sweaters and sweat pants 24/7. I also am more aware of when I want to project power into what I’m doing that day I have to bring the right archetype with me in my outfit. And what an amazing thing to see in my dresses that I purchased. Is it cute vs. sexy..what a difference in archetypes running the show the day I bought them!! A whole lot of maiden in the cutesy ‘child-like’ styles.

Who is running your show from an unconscious perspective?

Here’s how to know:

1. Go check your wardrobe and create categories based on similarities

2. Look at persona’s you project – sexy, frumpy, sporty, powerful, cutesy

3. Look at your accessories too! Penny loafer vs. Sports shoe vs. Stiletto- You better believe there are different versions of yourself being projected!

If you are curious to learn more about archetypes,  Carolyn Myss, has a wonderful book called ‘Sacred Contracts’. You can learn a lot about your archetypes and find the ones that resonate with you.

The next time you get up in the morning look in the mirror and ask WHO you want to be today. What is her goal? Then get dressed. And if you are finding yourself in a stuck spot, reach out and let’s chat. I’m here to help you. And if you are curious about which archetypes are running your wardrobe choices I can help with that too.

And there is a PART 2 to this post so check that out to learn more about the strategies you can use with your archetypes for getting to greater success!

If you are ready to discover a deeper meaning in your life please book an Illumination and Clarity call with me today.

Be Kinder to Yourself! You are Experiencing your Life through your Childhood Programming!

We live a very conscious life, only accessing about 10% of our brains.

What’s interesting is that all of our learning, behavior and change happens in our unconscious mind (the other 90%). We create our own personal ‘what’s right and wrong’ , known as our internal programming, between the ages of 0-7, followed by modeling and then a socialization period.

Here we are today, living our adult lives still running these programs. Feels a little ludicrous, doesn’t it?!

As children, we experienced things that were too hot to handle. We did not have the neurology to process the experience so it got stored in our unconscious mind, locked away safely. A memory that is too hot to handle can be you as a child being yelled at when you are three years old. That’s traumatic to a three year old.

So what does this mean for us today as adults? We could all use some ‘clean up’. These experiences that we have are blocking us from what we want in life.

I used to be shy and afraid to take control of my own life because I was afraid to make mistakes (my internal child programming made me believe I was bad if I did).

Every obstacle in our life is a great learning AND you can clear the emotions and limiting beliefs attached to it to get to neutrality. If you could live a happier more peaceful life why wouldn’t you? I’m grateful I’ve moved past all that fear or I may have never become a certified Practitioner and wouldn’t be writing this article.

I’m learning to get over myself. Life gets easier when we get over ourselves.

If you are curious about how to detach from the emotions to let some space into your life to create what you want book a complimentary Illumination and Clarity call with me today.

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Why the Unconscious Mind is SO smart and why you Should Care!

Here’s an article written by Dr. Kim Redman (thanks Kim :)) which was published in Choice Magazine, Volume 10, issue 4.

I am asked probably by everyone that I meet what is NLP? Check out this article which shares the power of NLP Coaching tools.

What is NLP and Why Should I Care?

“Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP, is the ability to put your message into a client’s internal language in a way that assists the client in making changes in their behavior, or programming.  Insiders define it as “the way to quickly reproduce excellence”.  NLP was developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler in the seventies.  Since then it has become the niche of captains of industry, presidents and prime ministers; people who need to communicate deeply and quickly and who are assessed on their ability to produce results.

How’s It All Work?

It turns out that our conscious mind is the goal-setter, and that our unconscious mind is the goal-getter.  Our conscious mind handles language, sequential thinking, and the present moment.  The unconscious mind handles our emotions, our learning, our strategies and behavior. The unconscious communicates with symbols, as anyone who has ever had a strange dream can attest to. It also takes all of our learning from the past and applies it to future endeavors.  This is why success, so easily leads to success.  It also explains why it is often so hard to achieve success in brand new areas of our lives.  We can set all the conscious goals that we want, but if a bigger poverty or failure program is already running in our unconscious mind then we encounter resistance, and often, failure.  NLP allow us to to clear out those programs and change the encoding of our new goals so that they are ‘louder’ and more present to our own unconscious minds. We are also able to shift the steps of unconscious strategies so that we can facilitate when a client is ‘stuck’.  When that happens, resources are continually directed at your goals at both the conscious and unconscious levels, which leads to success.

NLP Coaching Wins Gold!

NLP Coaching is the newest synergy of our two fields.  It is defined as results based coaching and is highly lucrative. Master Coaches usually guarantee their results in writing, both for life and executive coaching.

Let’s take a look at what stays the same:

The four core competencies as defined by the ICF stay the same as do open-ended questions and client based decision making.  Tasking is still used to get ‘skin in the game’ on the front end of the coaching process and to install new skill sets during the coaching process.

What changes when you add in NLP Coaching?

The ability to coach both for the conscious mind and at the level of the unconscious mind, and to quickly change the programs that guide behavior.  Additionally coaches are able to develop tremendous behavioral flexibility in how they approach a client and how they enter and use the client’s model of their world. Rapport is developed in less than six seconds, and the concept of resistant clients truly disappears. Each of the ICF competencies is followed and callibrated on throughout the process.

What Does It Feel Like?

NLP Coaching is just like any other type of coaching until we get to the unconscious techniques.  Then the client experiences either a fast technique like submodalities, (where we can shift the encoding so that the client now feels and thinks about the project at work the way they feel about their favorite activity), or relaxation (as in light trance).

Trance is a natural state and most of us are in it all day long. Just ask yourself if the car ever drove home on ‘auto-pilot’, which is defined as a medium trance state. Or if you looked down after being in the garden and saw that you had cut your hand with no memory of it? That too is a medium trance state. Trance allows our bodies to go into our parasympathetic nervous systems, which is where we need to be to regenerate and heal. It is like Disneyland for our bodies!  Since all hypnosis is legally defined as self-hypnosis, and NLP only uses light trance work, the client is always in control.

In NLP Coaching the techniques are part of the coaching process. Client’s are educated in their choices and often request specific techniques as part of their coaching/tasking process.”

If you are ready to learn more then book a complimentary Illumination and Clarity Call today.

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What makes Working with Unconscious Tools so Effective?

Here is a great article from ‘Choice Magazine’, written by Dr. Kim Redman, who explores how your brain changes from coaching and specifically what makes NLP Coaching so effective (NLP is a way to use hypnotic tools that change our problems in the part of the brain the problem is actually stored). I trained with Kim to become certified in NLP Coaching, NLP Trainer, Time Line Therapy Practitioner and Teacher and Hypnosis Practitioner and Trainer. I can share that all my clients get results. You simply cannot not get them! Read to learn more..

“We all know that our personality and the behaviours we produce are linked, but to what degree? It’s the age old argument of nature vs. nurture with a dose of the chicken and the egg quandary thrown in.  Some of our personality traits we are born with, and others are shaped by our environment and our experiences.  We adopt, abandon or transform our behaviour as a result of learning and growing.

The physiology of the brain and our growing understanding of the fields of neurobiology, psycho neurobiology, and brain plasticity are essential components of understanding our humanity.  Neurobiology can help predict types of personalities and certain physiological disorders, and might even be able to tell us which types of coaching we will be most effective with.

As one of the American Board of Neuro Linguistic Programming (ABNLP) Master Trainers, part of my job is to continue to stay plugged in to new research and contribute to an alive field better known as NLP/Results Based Coaching.  For years people have been debating over the grey area between the mind, the purview of NLP and coaching, and the brain, the physiological organ and the organic structures that support it.  What brain plasticity and growing research teaches us is that the two components of mind and brain are linked.

Wikkepedia’s definition of brain plasticity states that “…brain activity associated with a given function can be transferred to a different location, the proportion of grey matter can change, and synapses may strengthen or weaken over time.”   This is more than ‘use it or lose it’.  The way our behaviour and brain are inter-related is best known through the NLP and psychology axiom that “neurons that fire together, wire together.”  New functionality occurs at any stage of our lives, as long as we are actioning new behavior.  One of the ground breaking books in the field of brain plasticity was written by Dr. Norman Doidge in 2007; The Brain that Changes Itself.  I would highly recommend it.

Brain plasticity has found that our brain changes throughout our lives, forming new connections between brain cells. Brain plasticity is supported when a client takes action, especially new and sustained action.  This is where coaches come into play.

Coaching is a key tool for anyone who is seeking to engage with new behaviours.  As a trainer of coaches, the challenge that I am approached with by both new and established coaches, is how to get a client to deep change, rather than surface change.  While it is possible to create deep change via cognitive processes and cognitive coaching, science tells us that it is harder, requires more effort and just takes longer than working with a combination of both cognitive and unconscious mind tools.  This is because deep change requires engaging with the aspect of the mind that controls behaviour, change and learning; the unconscious mind.

Over the years I have trained thousands of coaches and consistently we find that the most effective coaches have the best of both worlds; some form of cognitive coaching combined with the unconscious coaching tools, templates and processes.  Historically NLP Coaching was the first field to use the coaching processes and unconscious processes in an integrative fashion.  Having the ability to engage the unconscious mind as a ‘co-coach’, without resistance, allows the client to engage with new behaviours up to ten times faster than cognitive processes alone allow.  The unconscious mind can address resistances and blocks (symptoms) from the position of patterning and root cause.  Clients get to their results up to ten times faster, and coaches avoid dealing with resistance.  It’s a win-win.

There are additional benefits to adding the unconscious coaching tools into the mix; bonus behaviours! Since our challenges often present themselves as patterns in our lives, successful coaching leads to many other behaviours that seem to ‘spontaneously’ occur that support the client’s goals and outcomes.

Transforming the unconscious patterns in our lives, can assist us not only in the initial transformation of a behaviour, but also, over time, impact the physiological structures that run those same behaviours.  It seems that the more we take action and do, the more the physiological structures of the brain change to support that doing.

Another great book for coaches is The Four Ways to Click by Dr. Amy Banks, published in 2015.  I had the privilege of meeting Dr. Amy Banks, head of research at Harvard Psychiatry during a conference a couple of years ago.  Dr. Banks had found the four main physiological structures, or “ways to click” of the brain and how they impact behaviour and relationships. Dr. Banks was looking for the coaching mechanisms and the supporting behaviours that would assist people in changing their brains.  As an NLP Master Trainer, we had the behaviours and patterns, but couldn’t prove the physiological structures. Voila! A match made in heaven.

Let’s take a look of how we can approach the ‘wire together-fire together’ phenomenon. The first awareness that we can bring to a client is a thematic filter.  Let’s use an example of not being heard, which impacts both relationship and business coaching.  We can ask questions that explore when the first time they remember that phenomena happening, and how else this theme has proved challenging for them.  Addressing behaviour from a patterning perspective is helpful for coaches as it creates great awareness for the client and gives the coach more data to work with as we move forward together with our clients..

Awareness of the root of the behaviour and re-patterning that behaviour from the root, outwards to a new behaviour, creates success.   Tasking reinforces the new behaviour and the new brain pathways for the client.  Depth of results seems to be related to the degree that the unconscious patterns can be made conscious, providing new options and new choices for the clients.  Master NLP Coaches are taught an additional toolkit for focus in this area and can even guarantee their success, in writing, often producing changes in behaviour in 30 days or less.  Other front edge leading tools that can assist coaches are hypnosis, meditation, and mindfulness training.

Article Information:

Changing Your Mind: The Impact of Coaching on the Brain & the Body ~ V16N3 September 2018

WHAT IS YOUR NEXT STEP?

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