Your entire life is run off of internal unconscious filters. That’s where all of your behaviours and self-talk come from.
If you struggle with any type of perfectionism, then it’s possible you struggle with feeling valuable at work.
A big reason is that you may feel like what you do is never good enough.
The perfectionist’s journey is learning to cut herself some slack and let it go.
SO why is this so hard to DO??
The expression that we become what we believe is very true. We are our unconscious programming and that impacts what we consciously think about and it is just that simple.
One of our unconscious filters, called Meta Programs, impacts how we value ourselves.
If you are curious, Meta Programs are thinking patterns that impact decisions, behaviours and interactions with others.
Ask yourself this question: How do you know when you’ve done a good job?
Do you have to be told by the people around you or do you just know? OR is it both?
Here’s three different answers and what that means to you at work:
#1. I ONLY know I’m valuable when I get praised by others around me
Guess what? If you HAVE to hear it around you because it’s the only way that you know you are valued, then you are in for disappointment.
Not all Managers are going to praise you. It’s 100% dependent on THEIR internal programming, producing their experiences .
If you are stuck on this, then consider the following:
In their Career they may have never got praise or acknowledgement for good work so don’t even think about it or know how
If we did deeper, growing Up they were never able to speak up at home because of being shut down by siblings or parents and received very little praise
Knowing that this is what lies at the root of it allows us to make it more about the other person and less about us. We can’t expect everyone to be
just like us..this took me DECADES to really get (all that contrast made me seek resources which changed my life..and yes it’s part of the journey)!
I realized I had problems, I was actually missing the ‘how to’, amazingly had resources flow to me that helped me fill my gaps and with application and learning how powerful engaging with our unconscious mind is, I had big changes happen. I dropped a lot of worry, fear and anxiety that were in my life.
If you are being managed by someone who doesn’t tell you that you are doing a good job then what can you do?
1- Schedule regular check-in’s JUST for feedback- ask for it and if that scares you because you are worrying about it not being good enough then
that’s a block for you..
Remember that feedback is learning..it’s doesn’t have to mean it’s doom and gloom (unless we created that belief and it’s in one of our unconscious
filters)..it’s the only way we learn and GROW..yes it can be uncomfortable and ask yourself how much do you want to improve your life. If you
answered A LOT or 100% then that’s a growth opportunity for you to move through it.
If you avoid the check-in’s then you may become resentful when meanwhile you really ARE doing a great job and your boss is just doing all that
they know to do (they are just running what’s in their wiring).
Now let’s move on to the second possible answer about how you know you are doing a good job.
#2. I know I’ve done a good job because I know it inside
This is good AND an important question to ask yourself, is what is your criteria for knowing that you’ve done a good job. We may be missing criteria
and find ourselves on the wrong path, completely wasting our time and missing the real objective of what we were doing.
AND a big reason for this is that we evaluate off of “FEELING”…here’s an example:
“I know I’m on the right path because it feel’s good.” The best way to know we are doing a good job is to look at our results. Consider that part of your internal check.
And I am totally not saying to avoid trusting your gut on things, because I value intuition and have seen how important it is to being our best self,
and it’s helped change my life!
Simply add in the results check as you take that new path and add in the results check sooner rather than later.
#3 You have an Internal and External Check- This really is the BEST as you’ve got it all covered.
Take what’s important for you from the above.
I know what it’s like to struggle with the above and I hear it from SO many women. If you want to take a deeper look at how your perfection blueprint
is impacting how you value yourself (because I REALLY want you to know you ARE Valuable), please click the link below and book
a complimentary discovery session so you can learn a little more about yourself and I always offer a super fast beat the perfection technique you
can use after the session.
Click this link and book your call now and get the complimentary technique!
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